Strange truth
There is no such thing as fiction. Things so weird take place that we have no way of dealing with them, so we make a little category for stuff we don't believe. I woke up today to find a slice of bread in the toilet. To tell the truth this is the third timed this has happened. So I chalk it down to experience and make some tea. I take the tea to my room and begin my daily practicing. I'm in the middle of a murder song when a loud knock comes at my bedroom door. I wet myself. See, my roommates go to work at eight and I usually have the place to myself. After the knocking I hear a voice yell "Jonas," in a voice that could only belong to my 50 year old German flatmate. "Jonas come out here and listen to me sing a song."
I open the door, "Ulrich, you came back,"
"Yes, I have a wound on my arm, listen to me sing a song."
Far be it from me to refuse a wounded man. So I sit on the couch and Ulrich takes a deep breath. Imagine my surprise when he opened his mouth and a German Kermit the frog hopped out. Heir Kermit sang a rousing rendition of "the boys of Belfast" in one single breath. Then he gasped for air for a minute and asked me what I thought...And all I could think was: why a slice of bread?
I open the door, "Ulrich, you came back,"
"Yes, I have a wound on my arm, listen to me sing a song."
Far be it from me to refuse a wounded man. So I sit on the couch and Ulrich takes a deep breath. Imagine my surprise when he opened his mouth and a German Kermit the frog hopped out. Heir Kermit sang a rousing rendition of "the boys of Belfast" in one single breath. Then he gasped for air for a minute and asked me what I thought...And all I could think was: why a slice of bread?
posted by jonas at 6:54 AM
8 Comments:
I thought I was in berea and maybe they had just made it a wet county and everbody was speaking funny....
Some people responded to my initial all call for addresses, and by some people, I mean rachel.
josh, don't feel bad. i just drew pictures on some index cards, pictures i imagined would look like ireland. pictures of rainbows and green fields and rocky cliffs. on one i cut out the picture from my lucky charms box, and wrote a nice message on the back all about ireland. then i displayed them on my fridge, where i show everyone who comes over. then they say they wish they had a friend in ireland to send them postcards. and i am happy.
Was it the special on the blue ridge wombat?
Hey Jonas! Its been awhile, how's Ireland treating you? I didn't see Neil Patrick Harris on CBS, but I did see Clay on the BP commercial during the Amazing Race! My address is 5 Rolling Hill Rd Skillman, NJ 08558 (wink wink). I talked to Laura today and she said she's coming to visit you soon, very cool! HAVE FUN!
actually, she's going to visit Neil Patrick Harris. I wish I could see that commercial...
So, how are the vegetables? Sounds like you're getting your starch in the toilet!
hymie b
that's gross
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